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My response tends to go along these lines: So let me get this right: You want to start dating but you don’t want it to progress into a committed relationship because you like your life too much / you’re emotionally unavailable and basically not over your ex or your past / you’re busier than a president or prime minister / you have difficulty trusting people / you need to get laid / you basically don’t like your own company so are looking for somebody else to give you special, my reticence about being emotionally available and committing will disappear”.

There’s nothing wrong with not wanting a relationship.

In our rather casual conversation, we marveled at how his fuckboy reputation didn’t seem to match his quiet, passive demeanor.

Although we were both warned by our friends that he had a history of being shitty to girls, we were, after all, cooperative and sex-positive housemates.

I led the way to my bedroom as we quietly snuck past the room he was supposed to be staying in, past the housemate he was supposed to be fucking.

If you’ve been treated in this way you have to be careful of doing the same to others.

That’s your litmus test: if somebody came to you with proposition, would you be happy with it?

I was the sexual object, whereas my housemate was the one who had feelings worth considering.

Eventually, I showed Sam out the door, and he asked for my number, suggesting that maybe we could “hang out” next semester when our lives were a little bit different.

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